The Korean Wish Book

I came home the other day and found in my mail box what I will assume to be the Korean equivalent of the Christmas-time Sears Catalogue known as "The Wish Book." I was very happy to find it as I had just been commenting to my fellow Canadians how I missed having the Wish Book to look at. It is an essential part of Christmas in any Canadian household.

Now the official name of the catalogue, as I can read it, is "2007/Goodbye/Hyundai Homeshopping." Hyundai? Yes, not only do they make cars but they have department stores and, evidently, 2007 Goodbye catalogues.

I was very happy to discover that, despite it's small stature, it was what I would expect from a Christmas catalogue. Inside you can find anything you'd need for gift-giving. Fashion, beds, furniture, shoes, bags, food. But, as is usual in Korea, it also has a few unusual things in it. Things you would never find in the original Wish Book, or any other Canadian catalogue for that matter.

First off, these strange shoes. I will draw your attention to the soles. Now why on earth would you want to wear shoes with a curved sole? I'm sure this nice man in the red shirt is telling us why, but I've got to disagree in principle with whatever he's saying.. Maybe the arrow at the top means you can use them as street skis or something.

This little gem appears to be a cereal dispenser. I look at this and I think of those things you can buy that will automatically feed your dog when you go out of town for the weekend. Is this for those busy families who can't afford a baby-sitter in the morning before the kids go to school?

For those of you who are thinning (and trust me, Korea will do that to you) here's a contraption that will help you get back what you've lost. I wonder if it massages the scalp into relaxing enough to let the hair grow back? If that's not a cup of your tea, maybe you'd prefer the more traditional method:


Spray paint.

For the lady who has everything, including a jewelry fetish, a mirror that opens into a storage closet for her accessories! My only beef with this is that it's not really big enough. My earring collection alone would need maybe three of them. (Yes I nearly ordered this but luckily was rescued by the thought "how would I get it home.")

For the body-conscious, a selection of slimming underwear. And, as I like to call them, cleavage makers. Not just a regular push-up bra, these babies appear to pull all the fat off your back even and push it up to your chest. I guess some people can use all the help they can get in that area. (My favourite thing on this page has to be the little cartoon old lady in the upper left corner. She's thinking....hmmmm...i could look like that again...with the right underwear of course.)

And here's a little something for those of you who need a little help in....other areas. (NOT ME!)

On to the exercise equipment! This is something straight out of the '50s. Jiggle yourself skinny! They have these at the gym I go to and I've never had the courage to try them. (Mostly because you have to take off your shoes to get on.) Notice the many positions to take on the giggling surface to target various parts of the body.

And the "SlimU." How this works is any one's guess. But it might...steam you skinny? Shock you? Heat you? Who knows.

And the food! No where to been are the tins of cookies and taffy you would expect in a Christmas catalogue. No candy canes or anything like that. Instead we have...

...random fried things and spicy noodle...

...vacuum-packed all-nutrients-boiled-away corn...

...sweet potatoes (of course)...

...dried squid (what else?!)...

...mail order mussels (!!!!!???????!!!!!!!)...

...and a two-page spread of kimchi. What more could you need?

My favourite thing in the whole catalogue has to be this though:

I like to try to guess what it could be for. A personal sauna for your legs? Some sort of detaining device for concerned parents to keep their teen aged daughters out of trouble? Personal heating? Personal air conditioning? Vibration? Steam? I could get one of the Korean teachers to read it for me but I prefer to be left in the dark on this one. It's much funnier.